Miscarriage--the loss of an unborn child before the 20th week of pregnancy--is a potentially devastating experience for a couple and their loved ones. If you or your spouse have recently experienced a miscarriage, both of you may be struggling with painful emotions to varying degrees. As a woman, you may be especially upset, having to deal with both emotional and physical upheaval. As a man, you may have the heavy responsibility of focusing on comforting your wife even as you grieve yourself. Furthermore, the stress of the healing process can strain your marriage relationship. The path to healing may be slow and rocky for both of you.
Perhaps you or your spouse aren't now struggling with the aftermath of miscarriage, but your friend or family member is. If so, you may experience difficulties of your own. Your friend or family member needs love, patience, and support, but you might not know what to say to comfort them. Even if you have experienced a similar loss, you may have a perspective that greatly differs from that of your grieving loved one. The words you speak with best intentions may be received as insensitive comments or even outright insults. Possibly, you may be confused and/or frustrated by your seeming inability to "say the right thing".
One source of aid in these difficult situations is to become informed about the physical and emotional ramifications of miscarriage, by reading and consulting resources. For those in grief, knowing, at least in part, what to expect can't shorten the healing process, but it may make it more predictable. For friends and family members of grieving persons, knowing how loved ones may be feeling can help in becoming a better comforter. Surely each of us can benefit from becoming aware of how the tragedy of miscarriage may be experienced by the others involved.
-Kathy Soper, Coping With Miscarriage, p. 1
Used by permission.
